Wow-Wednesday
3 days ago
Thursday, January 29, 2009
To all who have more than one child!!!
I have been thinking a lot lately about having two kids instead of just one and many things have been going through my mind. I have been mostly wondering about Emily and things I can do now to help her with the additional child. Then it clicked in my head...I know many people who have more than one child (and who like to blog and are willing to respond to mine)....so here is my question for anyone who is willing to comment....I am wondering what I should be doing now with Emily to better help her with the new baby!! Trent and I have talked about a few things like getting her a present or two (some new toy or something) so when we have the baby and everyone wants to see the baby she will still have something new...but we just don't know what to do. I am also wondering how much harder it really is to take care of two children...not just one. I realize everyone/every child is different, but I so would like some feedback/experiences that you have had. Thanks so much!!!!!
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7 comments:
I can think of one thing you can do now to help her when the baby comes. Teach her to talk to other people's babies. Kids her age like to play peek-a-boo, tickle toes, etc. I taught my daughters to tickle toes so they didn't poke babies in the eyes or put their fingers in the baby's mouth.
Read books about being a big sister...
When the baby comes, she can sit next to you and bring a book so you can read to her even when you nurse (maybe if your baby lets you talk while nursing) or she could bring diapers and wipes or do special "Big Girl" projects that she gets to do only when you or the baby are asleep (like puzzles, coloring, play in a box, whatever she can't always do, but could do without too much supervision.
If I think of anything else, I'll let you know. There were so many nieces and nephews around that I don't think the girls were surprised by any of it.
Oh, two kids is a little harder because you can't always nap when the baby naps, but you can if your kid will leave you alone for a little while on the couch while they watch a movie or something.
You'll do great. Don't worry. If you get overwhelmed, you can always ask someone to watch Emily for a few hours in the morning or afternoon (whenever she gets on your nerves after the baby-hormones have to get back to normal).
Hope all this rambling helps.
Mommy 'O' Three
Honestly I believe what made the difference with my kids was to make sure Emily knows that the new baby is also her baby. When we had ours I always insisted that my kids always had the opportunity to meet the new baby first. Before any other family members. Mom Crowther usually brought them and photographed the moment for us. Let Emily hold and love the baby first. Let her know how important she will be to her new baby. If you feel up to it let her visit you often in the hospital. That way she is not "left out". When I brought the baby home I never send my kids away to someone else's home. Just remember that she is going to be very excited and sending her away could cause the "left out" feelings. I always had someone at my house for the first 3 or 4 days to help so my kids could stay with me. Just make sure that Emily feels as involved as she wants to be. Build her up by calling her the big sister and such. Two kids are not that hard to care for. (let's talk when you have your third though!!) Just remember what you are nervous about not knowing now, your sweet kids will teach you very soon. Good luck hope this helps!
thanks....i knew you guys would be able to answer my questions!!!!
I should probably just email you because this is going to be a long one...we disconnected our land line but I'll try to give you a call sometimes so we can just talk about this or maybe we can have a play date...anyway:
I remember worrying about taking enough time for Kaitlyn after the new baby came. Well guess what people like to hold a new baby but only one person can hold it at a time. People will still be just as entertained watching and paying attention to emily while they wait their turn.
This does not however mean she wont feel left out sometimes or that she needs more attention. Try to have some especial Mommy and Emily time (especially while baby is sleeping, I found I sometimes missed my little princess even though my hands were plenty busy, so this is nice). Encourage taking turns with Trent as to who is taking care of who (J wanted to take care of Kaitlyn all the time because he was kinda scared of the new baby, it was kinda cute) this will help her feel like she is getting plenty of attention from both of you.
Involve her as much as possible in helping with the baby. Teach her how to take care of her babies the way you take care of her new brother. If there is something she can go get ask her if she could go get it (diaper, plug, toy, etc.) for the baby. (if she doesn't want to no big deal, just keep offering to involve her and help her feel part of this experience instead of just and observer.)
Kaitlyn didn't really act out much when Jared came (I think she was a little young to realize she could do that)but if Emily does realize the why behind her actions and without reinforcing the behavior try to make an especial effort to let her know how much you love and appreciate her when she is being a good girl.
Remember that babies sleep a lot at first so that will give you and Emily time to adjust to involving him in your day to day experiences.
Yes it is much harder to take care of two, but I honestly didn't realize how easy it was to take care of one before I had two. I think you don't because you haven't been stretched into caring for two yet. :P
Remember Heavenly Father will help you a lot, you are not doing this on your own. It will probably be similar to adjusting to Emily coming into your home, not exactly a smooth transition all the time but a possible one. (If it was smooth this one will probably be too because you must have figured out something I haven't yet. ;)
It probably wont ever become easy but it will become less difficult. Just keep laughing along the way and don't be afraid to ask for help. (especially a month or so into it when the offers to help start slowing down. They are still implied, okay?)
I remember when Justin went to work and left me with both of them and I didn't think I could make it. Well I cried a lot but I made it and now (close to only a year later) they will run off and play quietly and nicely together and entertain each other! It's a miracle! And so worth waiting for!
Melissa you are an incredible Mom. You have a very special little girl who is blessed to be in your home. And Heavenly Father is sending another special spirit to join your family. You will be surprised at how much he fits in. :) Take care and I'll talk to you soon!
Love ya! Kari
Melissa: I saw the last name on the ward list, and thought maybe you would be related, but decided that probably wasn't right! Ha, I will have to go say hello! I think he might have been one of the men that helped us move in! (well maybe-not sure). Anyway, I'd put "advice" about the 2 kid thing, but you should probably just read my blog! That's probably way easier!!!! You daughter is so adorable!
Two is hard, but #3 straightens out the other 2. Somebody told me that once. I say 'ditto' to all the rest, Just make her feel that she and the baby are both important and she shouldn't have a problem with him. BTW, I loved taking the older kids to meet their new sibling. Ask your mom to bring Emily for you unless she is already there.
That's right, I'm the third, um favorite, and best! You can always ask for more help later too.
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